It's been a month since my last post. Oops!In reference to that last post, the battle is not over. But thankfully God has been gracious with me, providing me with confidence and joy in Him.
Today is the most glorious day!! It is so stinkin crazy how drastically the weather affects my mood. For instance, I woke up Tuesday morning to an insane thunderstorm. It was a crazy awesome demonstration of God's power, but it was not encouraging me to go to class. Therefore, yep, you guessed it. I skipped. First time to skip this class and it's October!! (well, almost). Today, however, myohmy ITFEELSLIKEFALL!!! Did you get that? It actually feels like Fall in Mississippi! Now, I'm enjoying it fully because (literally) only God knows what tomorrow and the next few days will feel like. But this was a glorious day to welcome in Fall Break of my senior year. What?! No Fall Break next year. EEESSH. (do I have to grow up?) This afternoon I took a sleeping bag into the backyard at my house and literally just laid there. ITWASAWESOME. seriously. one of the best ideas I've had in a while. So thankful to the Creator for blessing me with this day.
"God has a plan, He has a plan and it is good. God is good & He has a plan for me & it is good."
This is a little excerpt from my brain the last few weeks. My tendencies to plan & plan & plan some more are wanting to overtake my life. But, that's just the thing. I can't. I can't plan any further than May, when I will be a college graduate (Lord willing, of course). This week I've started two Seminary applications, researched church internships and put hard thought into working at the beautiful place called Camp Merri-Mac. SOMANYOPTIONS. It's beautiful and overwhelming all at the same time. I refuse to make this entire blog about this issue because I'm taking a break from thinking about the future for the weekend. See ya later, incessant thoughts about my life.
In other news, I attended Alcohol Anonymous last night as a requirement for one of my classes. We talked about AA and the typical routine of a meeting in class to prepare us for our individual adventures there. Nothing could have adequately prepared me for this experience. The drive to the meeting was about 40 minutes, so one of my classmates & I rode together & had some good convo. She had been to a meeting before with a friend who wanted to go. So, anywho. We arrive at our destination. Normal people, some around my age and some much older filled the room. Each face had a name, a story and a struggle. I can't tell you how I felt as each person shared their "step one." Step one is admitting that you are powerless within your struggle & that your life has become unmanageable. These people shared with such vulnerability and self-awareness. I had one woman look me straight in the eye (knowing I was a first time visitor) and tell me that she threw away her family, friends and every other opportunity that was in front of her because alcohol & drugs were the most important things in her life. Slowly as these men & women shared their stories and what it took to realize their powerlessness, they spoke of God and their desperate need for Him. GOD. GOD is responsible for the healing & restoration that has happened in the lives of these people. The little box of my life was completely blown to pieces. This experience showed me a glimpse of just how BIG our God is. His hand is present places that I have never been and will never go. He is working all things out for the good of those that love Him (rom 8:28). This was a long spill. Worth it. Yes? hope so.
Just a glimpse into what God is teaching me...this week I was extremely humbled by the honest words of a kind friend. She blatantly called out sin in my life and it really hurt. It hurt so badly to feel like a failure of a friend...to be reminded of just how broken I am. But, at the same time it was so freeing. Yes, I am a sinner and I will never get it all right. I will never be complete until the day of Christ Jesus (phil 1:6). and I need friends like her who will tell me, just quite honestly, when I'm being a jerk. Because being a jerk doesn't exemplify Christ. at. all.
Okay, it's dinner time & I'm hungry. And, since I'm an adult I have to go COOK dinner. Pasta & chicken tonight.
check out Ephesians 1:18&19.