Friday, July 22, 2011

forget not His benefits.

It's easier to title a post once it's been written.

Looking at this screen allows me to exhale. It brings me great joy to blog. 

Camp is great. No, really. Camp is great. The Lord has provided me with beautiful community through friends this summer and I have absolutely loved it. Being at Merri-Mac for a second summer has deepened my love for camp and its ministry. It is truly a joy to watch young girls live in a safe environment that allows them to be themselves...silly, fun and free of judgement. It's a beautiful thing.

In order to be home for my dear friend Mallory's wedding, I'm spending the night in a hotel room alone. This allows for much thought and contemplating of my almost eight weeks here in North Carolina. I love this place so much. So quickly has it become my home and so quickly it will no longer be. 

Living in a different state, away from my family, friends and everyday norm has made me even more thankful for the Lord's consistency. He knew all that would happen this summer and all that will happen in my lifetime...and He chooses to love me still. 

This summer I have been reminded of what a broken sinner I am. Despite my efforts to do my best in every area of camp and life at home, I have failed. And frankly that sucks. I have a tendency to hold high expectations for myself and not meeting them is just not fun. But, this summer the Lord has freed me from this captivity. If He has such great and powerful grace on me, who am I to sulk and dwell on my failures? 

Unfortunately I do not have the mental capacity to truly write about all that is going on in my head. I'm too exhausted. And I'm still processing. 

One of my first session campers wrote me a letter with Psalm 103 written at the bottom. I will leave you with its beginning...

Psalm 103
1Bless the Lord, O my soul,
and all that is within me,
bless his holy name!
Bless the Lord, O my soul,
and forget not all his benefits,
who forgives all your iniquity,
who heals all your diseases,
who redeems your life from the pit,
who crowns you with steadfast love and mercy,
who satisfies you with good
so that your youth is renewed like the eagle's.