Christmas break was very lovely. I have come to realize that I have grown up expecting home to be a place of retreat and refuge. Some people love going home; it's their place of utmost relaxation. Going home is not always a pleasure for me. This has taught me to long for my ultimate home, the place I will feel most peace. Some people say that Christmas break should be full of nothing- only watching TV for endless hours, hanging out with no one but your family and sleeping endless hours. I have felt more and more convicted about this "home being a place of retreat" theory I have. You see, Christians never take a break from doing Christ's work. They never take a day off to relax. Christ's love compels them in all areas of life: when at school, when at work, when at home, anywhere. A Christ followers ministry happens daily.
at this very moment I am sitting at my neatly organized desk in my newly rearranged dorm room (shout out to eb and leah frances for helping me). i'm drinking coffee and listening to john mayer. it is a peaceful moment indeed. i love moments like this where i feel that all is right. but then, as soon as i type that or think that, i think about unbelievers. i think about the reality of hell and it makes me want to scream. God, show me. Lead me in ministry-not just furthering the walks of believers but loving on unbelievers. i think about my parents, who attend church and listen to me talk about jesus but i've never heard them talk about their love for him. this is scary stuff for me.
have you ever read anything by Donald Miller? Can I just say...obsessed? Because I am.
Starting with Blue Like Jazz last semester, I read Through Painted Deserts over Christmas break and I am now beautifully plowing through Searching For God Knows What. This journey with Donald Miller has been amazing. I urge you to check out Blue Like Jazz--Miller writes with astounding vulnerability and honesty about today's church and his thoughts on God. I have loved this journey.
Today is Monday. I arrived at school Saturday night because of the "ice storm" and classes were cancelled due to the weather today. I have cleaned, organized, read, read some more, journaled, talked with some friends, played cards, etc. Yesterday I was bombarded with the fact that I do not have many friends. I have somewhat began to process this. --I have always had a group of friends...a fun group of people to go out to dinner with or stay in and watch a movie with, etc. However, I have not had that for a while. Last semester was very lonely for me because my best friend, Anna, was very busy with our tribe, Nenamoosha. This semester, however, she and I both have a lot of time on our hands... and yesterday I realized... God, this is not how you intended community to be. My best friend and I going back and forth to each others' rooms hanging out with each other on a campus that is filled with believers. It seems unright. So, I'm dedicating myself to praying for community. For this semester and for next year because Anna and I are looking to live off campus with some other people. Friendships can hurt a lot, and I think that's why I am so picky about where I invest my time. There is that factor and also that most people my age have a very distinguished group of friends.
I apologize for the length of this entry. Oh, yeah.. I have been single for a year :) God is faithful. andddd Happy New Year!
I've also learned a lot about the importance of the Word of God lately-so I'll leave you with this: "Do everything without complaining or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, Children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe as you hold out the word of life-in order that I may boast on the day of Christ that I did not run or labor for nothing" Philippians 2:14-16
